But, I can't live here either.
They're too friendly. Gasp...I know...I hear it all across the internet. I'll say it again. I, Ms. Optimist and Ms. Perky Pepperina of the Rolling Hills, find the Midwest too friggin' friendly.
Here's an example. After a night of insomnia, children up at 6:00 am, my parents in bed with the flu, my sister asleep with jetlag, I get up and lug myself to the grocery store. EVERYONE SAID HELLO. No one would let me mope and wallow and have even an ounce of self pity. I find a dose of wallowing does my soul good at least once a week. I can't deny that. But no one lets me mope in the Midwest. Nope. Two stockers, a manager, the produce guy, three shoppers, the cashier and the bagger all said something very chipper and nice to me that morning. All of them. All within the half hour I was there. I didn't even get everything on my list because I was so distracted by all the happiness.
I'm moving to Scotland. There, they drink AND mope. I'm sure of it.