Saturday, January 30, 2010 the carwash

My kids question my parenting abilities on an hourly basis. I've asked them to bring a curious eye to the world and they do as I've told, even with me. Most times it gets on my nerves, like when G prefers a cuddle from another mum at our playgroup or when Bug asks for permission from another mum on the playground when he knows I'll say no. But sometimes, the benefit of my parenting style shines through. The other day, we went to clean the car before Nana's visit. We vacuumed the car, ate vegan Pringle's while waiting in the que for the carwash, vacuumed the car again and then actually washed the car. When I finally drove the car into the carwash, G was terrified. By "terrified," I mean eye-popping, soul-questioning, body-shaking terrified.
She could find no relief or comfort despite her cries for help as I was strapped in the front, she was strapped in the back and we had school bags and a sea of detritus of 2 kids between us. Bug stepped in. "Here G, hold my hand. These are just giant washcloths cleaning off the mud. When you get muddy you go in the shower. When the car gets muddy, it needs to go into a big shower with lots of fluffy rollers and soap. It's okay. We can hide under my coat." They did so and peeked from the corners of his hood and he whispered comforts I could not. Bug then said, "Mum, could you move a bit. It's time to explain that the driers are coming and we can't see around your big head." I tried to chime in, but then I realized he was doing a much better job at parenting and I shut up and listened.
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Intrauterine Cannibals

My kids have a fascination with facts. They love to read encyclopedias as much as they like a good story. Lately, I bring a deck of "Ocean Animal" fact cards with me when we need to wait somewhere. Uncle B and Auntie Mae gave us these cards a while ago and the kids love them. The deck of cards has a pic of each animal and a fact about that animal.

Picture this. M is away at the annual laser dude conference in SF. I am waiting with the kids in a coffee shop for the traffic to subside as well as the pain from a debilitating bout with sinusitis. My patience is low, but I'm not crabby. Just worn out. First I read this card to the children, "Some sea slugs are carnivorous predators who bore holes in their prey and suck out the internal organs." We all take this in stride. The kids and I have heard this before, meat eating, organ sucking sea slugs are a matter of course in the world of facts. Then I get the next card and it says, "Great White Shark babies are interuterine cannibals. An unborn shark will actually eat its unborn brothers and sisters." Bug takes a slow breath in, puts on his thinking face much like the one above, and says, "Well. I don't do that. I don't like G taking my toys. But I don't eat her or anything. She bites me, but only because she hasn't learned to swear yet."

A few points of interest:
1)He says this as if he has bored holes in prey and sucked out their organs, but has never eaten a sibling. Both of which, in fact, he has never done. Yet. Also, new foods and new methods of eating are out due to his anaphylaxis. So, I have proof.
2) I must interject that the entire cafe clientele is laughing. Hysterically. Out loud. With tears in their eyes. Ah, yes. Thank you Uncle B and Auntie Mae for the gift that keeps on giving.
3) I also need to clarify that I laugh with my friends that I wish G would learn to swear as it's more sanitary than biting. Neither of my kids swear or really understand what I mean by the word "swear." Yet.

Out of the mouths of babes that aren't intrauterine cannibals...

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

if you've got five minutes

get a cup of coffee and enjoy the ride...

a boy and his truck

"A boy and his puppy" is usually the catch phrase. Well, phthehthfhthth on that. View the video above. Tis my son and his newest birthday and beloved possession. Whatever will Saturday bring? I must say, you will have to copy/paste it...sorry...I'm terrible at this kinda stuff....

Friday, January 8, 2010