Tuesday, November 15, 2011

the better of everything

Today, Little M said, "Ketchup is the better of everything." I wanted to tell him, "No, having you and G and ThunderBaby and Big M - that is the better of everything." But, then I thought maybe I shouldn't correct him. Not for any big parenting philosophy type reason, but simply because I have not kissed any of them with ketchup and Little M, who seems to have errant bits of ketchup crusted on his lips even after swimming in a pool for an hour and even after I wash his face and even after brushing his teeth, has probably, somehow, kissed us all with ketchup. Therefore he probably is in a position to make a maxim like, "Ketchup is the better of everything."

Monday, November 14, 2011

Armpit Farts

Somehow, in a 6 year old boy's mind, one can accidentally lick their palm.
And, accidentally put that damp palm under his armpit in gym class.
And, then, accidentally make an armpit fart noise and accidentally get into the wee, tiniest bit of trouble. Accidentally. Just once. Or maybe twice. Accidents are hard to remember in a 6 year old boy's mind, too.
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Thursday, November 10, 2011

eco - this, baby!

I dare anyone to embrace the GO GREEN! ethic like my children do. They have their own toilet upstairs and I have discovered it left unflushed for hours? days? uhm? at a time. While this "conserves water for fish and fowl" according to Little M with a resounding "Yah Mum" by my transplanted Glaswegian G, it is, I think, a practice too disturbing for most to adopt. It is now on my list to check the toilet daily but as the days and nights are still a little mixed up with our Thunderbird Baby I cannot guarantee it is a daily check according to conventional calendars. I am also not sure that they wipe their bums as often as would be hygenically recommended which does indeed save trees from becoming toilet paper, but worries my illness avoidance streak. Call me crazy as Little M does. I am fine with that. I will own it. I will also own that limited time has made a mockery of my once neurotic cleaning skills (Mom, I am so sorry, but I was a late bloomer regarding cleaning and they did not flourish til I left home...). However, I am perplexed by their preference to eat stale food found in surprising corners guarded by dust bunnies asking for beer over fresh, warm, homemade food. Though, be sure, I am thankful when food does not go to waste. My kids also share toothbrushes. All toothbrushes. Again, too be fair, sharing does extend the life cycle of these toothbrushes. But why they bicker of sharing toys and not germ laden tooth scrubbers I don't know. Then there is the act of... oh nevermind. The list could continue, but I am just too grossed out.
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